5 Things I Love to Hate About SE Asia

Having grown up mostly in the UK, I sometimes felt like I was on a different planet whilst visiting South East Asia. Sure, the breathtaking beauty and the scenery doesn’t compare to what you will find in England, but it’s more than that. There are so many things (for lack of a better word) that you just have to accept as normality. Things that you might find kind of annoying but also kind of humorous. Some things are just different. At first, they’ll seem totally bizarre, actually, they won’t ever stop being bizarre. You just get used to them. If these things happened in England, you’d be writing a strongly worded email to someone. But here, you just have to laugh, or sigh, or take 5 deep breathes. Here are some things that I love to hate about SE Asia.

Getting your laundry done in SE Asia is a total gamble. You get to pay an undeniable bargain rate to get everything you have washed, dried and folded for you. Whilst you’re waiting to pick your clothes up, you get to ask yourself some fun questions like… Will all of my items come back? Will anyone else’s bonus items of clothing be included? What size will my clothes be now? Will they have changed colour? So mysterious. So fun.

You know that feeling when you go out to eat and you find exactly what you’re in the mood for on the menu? Well… You’ll learn not to get your hopes up.

Me: Hello, can I have one of these, please?

Waiter: Sorry, finish

Me: OK, can I get this?

Waiter: Sorry, finish

Me: Right… well, I’ll have that instead then

Waiter: Sorry, finish too.

This happens more times than you could believe. If you’re lucky the waiter will just take your order and grab your food from a restaurant up the road that does have what you’ve ordered. You’ll frequently see waiters walking with plates from one restaurant to another. It’s like an environmentally friendly version of Uber Eats.

If you’re not so lucky, the waiter will take everyone’s order and then when delivering the food to the table, choose that as the opportune moment to tell you that they don’t actually have what you’ve ordered.

In Vietnam, we went out with some friends and ordered a round of beers. After 15 minutes or so we called over the waitress to ask where our beers were. She told us that they had run out of that type of beer. And that was that.

Whether you jump in a taxi at a rank or order yourself a Grab (like an Uber) your taxi driver will likely be your new best friend. They’re always so friendly and interested in your plans. They’ll want to know what you plan to do during your stay? What do you want to see? They’ll even offer to be your personal driver for the whole day! They’ll hit you with a super high rate at the end of the day but by that point your such good pals that you could never imagine bartering with them. What are friends for?

A lot of transport is still organised by pen and paper. Remember those? You go into a tour agency, tell them where you want to go and how you want to get there. They will take your money & write you out a paper ticket.

Sometimes it works out just fine.

Other times the tickets are oversold and people will have to sit (or sleep) in the aisles.

Sometimes you’ll catch a member of staff trying to steal your handbag.

Most of the time, the bus will leave late because all of the street sellers have to parade their goods up and down the aisle in ritual before we can depart.

You’ll always stop at a totally random local restaurant on route.

Don’t even get me started on the toilets.

Be prepared for the bus to stop frequently. I don’t think I’ve ever been on a coach that’s driven past a local without stopping to pick them up free of charge. The tourist transport basically works like a free hop-on-hop-off service for locals.

Who knows how your journey will go? Accept it. Embrace it. (and be prepared for it!)

If you’re reading this and thinking, ha! I would never put up with any of this. Let me tell you that literally, no one gives a shit about your problems. Not in a nasty way, more like in an ‘oh that sucks for you, sorry there’s nothing that I personally can do about it’ way. Usually teamed with a little shrug and an ‘I’m not really sure what you’re saying’ expression.

In SE Asia, you just have to get on with things. It’s good. It’s character building. Cockroaches in your room? Get over it. Item of laundry missing? Your favourite top belongs to someone else now. Sold a ticket for a bus that’s full? Too bad, it’s not the driver’s problem.

Obviously, if it’s not a normality (like cockroaches) staff will help you. People will help if they can. Just be prepared that the things that might bother you, are not generally a cause for complaint for them. It’s all part of the fun – adapt or be forever infuriated.

I mean no offence with this post, I found the above to be hilariously infuriating. It’s just different from home – and isn’t that why we travel?

Things might work slightly differently on the other side of the world but I think that’s all part of the adventure.