Tips for a Relatively Comfortable Long Bus Journey in SE Asia
The Bus Journey
I’m sitting on a 6-hour bus from Siem Reap to Phnom Penh as I write this. There are so many people on this bus. There are people sitting in the aisle on the floor. I wish I could take a photo from my chair but I’m pretty sure I’d just be confirming to the entire bus that I’m a massive dickhead if I start taking photos of their discomfort. So you’ll just have to use your imaginations.
The first bus we got on was lovely, the air conditioning was prominent (its 36 degrees here), there were even some empty seats. We got ourselves comfortable for the 6-hour journey. 10 minutes up the road, we’re told we have to change (something that was never previously mentioned to us).
This Is Fine.
Ok, no big deal. We got on the new bus, which is actually a much much older bus. The seats are broken, the bus is considerably warmer and we sat there for about 15 minutes whilst various hawkers came on and off the bus selling mango, pineapple and annoyingly, durian. If you don’t know why this is annoying, you have never smelt durian. It smells exactly like feet. Surely we’ll get going any minute…
Within the hour I think an entire small village crammed onto the bus. The drivers were carrying little plastic stools down the aisles for the children to sit on. The adults sitting on their luggage.
It is so hot. If the air con is working, it’s outweighed by the bodies in this bus. I lifted my laptop from my lap and discovered a pool of sweat. Maybe I’ll just write on my phone now…
How Did We Get Here?
Well, our tuk-tuk driver took us to a different booking agent than the one we asked him to take us to, but rather than argue the point we just went ahead and booked our tickets. How different could it be from the one we were recommended?
Ha. Can I rewind and be sterner with that tuk-tuk driver?
Fuck it. This is how the locals travel right? They do this kind of thing all the time. I mean it could be the diazepam talking but we are getting a 6-7 hour journey for $9. Were it not for the excess bodies on the bus it may even feel a little cool. We have seats and our own entertainment. We’re good. Just not as good as we’d be if we were still on the first bus. That gloriously cool bus… that bus where people weren’t eating smelly food and babies weren’t screaming. Ah, the good old days.
Suck It Up
There is just no complain culture out here. It’s like the person you want to complain to either doesn’t give a shit or is so personally offended that either outcome makes it not seem worth your while.
In the past, we’ve been on a 4-hour minivan journey with 4 of us crammed into the back row that should seat 3. We’ve been on sleeper buses that have been so overbooked some people haven’t had beds.
We’ve been on buses where the air con hasn’t worked and the seats haven’t reclined.
Apart from finding yourself on a sleeper bus with no bed, none of the above examples are particularly that bad. In England, yeah, for sure you would complain about all of the above, maybe even get some money back. But here you just get on with it. You resent the person who paid the same amount as you and has air con or leg room. You take notes for your next journey.
We’re getting pretty good at this whole public transport thing. Much like a flight, I like to see it as ‘me time’ I can read, do some work, even watch a film if I like.
10 Tips For A Long Journey
- Make sure everything is charged (power bank included)
- Have some noise cancelling headphones or earplugs
- Wear light clothing
- Bring a sarong or similar to sit on leather seats – or to use as a shawl if the air con is working.
- Be first on the transport for first dibs on seats! If there’s 2 of you, 1 loads the bags whilst the other nabs the seats
- If you’re on a coach check your air con works before you commit to a seat
- Check your seat reclines (for long journeys and especially sleeper buses)
- If you’re getting a minivan try and sit at the front – avoid the back row at all costs!
- Bring snacks and water. Some drivers like to stop. Others not so much.
- Wanting to block the entire thing from your memory? Get yourself some diazepam (sold over the counter at some pharmacies) and snooze your way to your next destination.
Extra Pointers
Be prepared for your bus or minivan to stop frequently to pick up and drop off locals in totally remote locations.
Expect to change buses halfway through the journey without being told beforehand. Even at 1 am.
Be aware that if you complain and your complaint is heard, your problem will only be solved at the misfortune of someone else less vocal than yourself.
You see, you look at a minivan and think it can sit 12 people including the driver, but you’re wrong! It can fit so much more. Who knew?!
After learning the pain of 4 people in 3 seats for 4 sweaty hours, we ran to get the front seats of our next minivan. Before long the drivers were trying to squeeze in extra bodies behind us. The people sitting behind us refused to have 4 people in the row and made such a fuss that they got moved to another minivan. Instead, 4 other unfortunate people who were less argumentative and accepted their fate suffered the 5-hour journey in sweltering discomfort.
Final Word
So as much as it is fully ingrained in your brain from such a young age ‘that the cool kids sit at the back,’ DO NOT TAKE THE BACK ROW. You will likely end up squished next to strangers or luggage and the air con will likely not reach you.
The driver will never squeeze in too many people next to him and you get air con all up in your face.
Oh, and if you do get these seats. Try not to gloat. It will be hard with everyone complaining behind you but just try and refrain ok. In fact, now is a good time to get your noise-cancelling headphones in and take a nap!
“Often the journey is more important than the destination. Unless the journey is an 8-hour sweaty bus ride that must be endured to reach the destination. Then it’s about the destination.”
– Me